What is with this country?

***Scott Watch - Day Seven***

Well Scott ended up spending 3 days and 2 nights in a hospital. He came back Wednesday night. Looking back at the whole fiasco is both humorous and scary. Humorous because we really bonded as friends despite the rotten circumstance. But it was mainly scary because he was very close to death, for real. I'm not being over dramatic- if he would have stayed at the 2nd hospital or had a parasitic relapse Scott would have died. But he was able to tough it out with the help of European doctors, Chinese pain medications, and an American friend. Here at LJS he is making great progress- he is able to eat real food, drink fluids other then water, and he was able to take a standing shower yesterday. The day before that I moved a chair into the shower for him and stood nearby in case he passed out or tipped over. He thinks he will be back in class Monday and everyone is looking forward to his complete return.

As for me... I don't know what to think of Africa.

I love and hate this country at the same time. Let me explain...

We have started our "cultural orientation" classes lead by Chooma, the school director. At first it seemed like he was going to teach us practical rules of etiquette and society. But it turned out to just be Chooma's ideas of what Tanzanian society should be like, or what he wants us to believe Tanzania is like. For example, one of the biggest topics for discussion was the concept of relationships. Relationships, explained Chooma, are at the heart of every aspect of Tanzanian life. In greetings you do not say 'Hi' or 'Hello' you say 'Habari gani?' or 'What is your news?'. You are supposed to show genuine interest in others and find out how they are doing- as a person, as a friend, as a fellow human being going through the same trials and tribulations as you. While this initially seems a noble and earnest endeavor, the true motive is a selfish one. Chooma explained that you greet everyone you meet because later you might need help from them. He gave this example- Lets say you are traveling through a town and at a gas station you greet a few strangers and see how they are doing, you form a 'relationship' with them. If you blow a tire out or lose your way you can go back to them to ask for help or directions which they most likely willingly give. But if you did not greet them and form a 'relationship', when they see you the second time, in need of help, they will say, "You did not show interest in me until you needed something, there is no reason for me to help you".

I have many problems with this hypothetical situation. First off, that is not a real relationship. This pretend act of empathy is just selfish subterfuge aimed and getting complimentary compensation. While I have no problem with watching your own ass and making sure you have what you need to live day to day, why bother with the silly guise? The other major problem I have with this hypothetical situation is in the statement "you did not show interest in me until you needed something, there is no reason for me to help you". Really? No reason at all to help another person out. Isn't there a certain Son of God that was here about 2000 years ago who would beg to differ? Christ calls us to be servants to others, it doesn't matter if they are your friend, your enemy, a random guy in the gas station that didn't pay attention to you, it could be anyone. And so what if you don't get compensation or even a thank you.... "Your Father who sees what you do in secret will reward you." Matthew 6:6

Unfortunately, this sad hypothetical situation has many factors that stem from real life here in Tanzania. Here just a few stories:

Audrey's boyfriend, Paul (who invited us to Dodoma a few weekends ago), witnessed a car/truck crash once. At first, it seemed like everyone was helping the victims. Everyone stopped their cars and got out. People came from their homes at the sound of the crash, and shoppers and bystanders came from the streets to surround the accident. But they weren't interested in helping the injured vehicle owners. People started to open up the vehicles looting and pillaging. They stole all the packages from the back of the cargo truck. They siphoned out gasoline, stole the batteries, mirrors, anything that could be sold. Meanwhile the 2 drivers from the crash sat on the side of the road bleeding to death. One man had a gaping head wound and the other was in shock, both serious conditions that would have ended their currently overlooked lives. ...

C.P.P.S. (mentioned in previous blog) is a Catholic water well drilling organization, but they also give food to needy families. They only have the funds and resources to give food to the people who absolutely need it, the ones who literally have nothing. They will give these families paper vouchers so they are able to cash it in at the food bank. One woman has the unlucky job of going around and choosing who gets the paper vouchers and who doesn't. She also goes around to check that the people with the vouchers are as desperate as they say they are. On one routine check up she found a family with a voucher for milk for an infant. Surprisingly at the food bank the mother never came with her infant and occasionally sent a 15 year old boy to collect the milk. As it turns out, the 15 year old boy was the infant who at one time needed the milk. But now he was old enough to collect the milk himself. The family was also in good enough condition that they didn't need a voucher, or any food assistance for that matter. The mother was confronted and told that there are thousands of mothers who have infant children that can not supply healthy breast milk and are in desperate need of assistance. The mother, in her defense, said that the 15 year old just liked the milk. On another voucher check up, a family that at one time had nothing was found to now have a house with brick walls, electricity, and running water! But every week they would dress down, come begging to the food bank, and collect groceries. Their utility bill, that they themselves payed, was probably 10x more then the value of the food they recieved for free. And here is the kicker- all their neighbors, the ones who lived not 50 feet from their house, lived in shacks with little to no roof, no electricity, no vouchers, no furniture, no food, and no water. So everyday while this family gorged themselves on the cache of charity food and clean water under lamp light, they could look out their window and see their neighbors eat dirt. Both families, obviously, had their vouchers torn up. These are also not unusual cases, this is a common occurrence. ...

And its not just the Africans with this mentality, it is anyone who stays here too long. One of the language school students, married with one child and in her late 20s, had a miscarriage. She was bleeding quite terribly and needed desperate medical attention not only to save her reproductive organs, but to save her life. Audry and Kim went to Pastor Hofferman for help. They said, "Pastor Hofferman, one of the language school students had a miscarriage and is bleeding. They need your help." Then Pastor Hofferman said, very nonchalantly, "Doesn't someone else have a car? Right now I'm getting the money ready to pay the workers. It will be about 3 hours." Pastor Hofferman, a man with a western upbringing, a man who knows how desperate the situation is here and has seen the effects of humane negligence, a man who was a BIOLOGY major in undergrad, told them to wait 3 hours. Audrey and Kim walked away stunned, what do you say to something like that? He was probably the person most capable of helping in that situation and THAT was his reply?...

Stories like this kill me. What is it about Africa that does this to people? If you witnessed a car crash, who among you would want choose to steal a car mirror worth $3 over saving someones life which is priceless? When you have the capabilities to be self sufficient and already have more then you need, would you choose to illegally obtain free food or let someone have a meal that would otherwise die? If you had money, education, and more then adequate resources would you let a woman with a partial fetus still in her damaged uterus bleed to death in her bathroom or would you take her to get medical attention? What is infecting the Africans, making them act in such cruel and insensitive ways? I don't know. It is NOT poverty, many of the people who choose the actions are not impoverished. It is NOT lack of knowledge, many of these people are educated enough to adequately assess the situation. It is NOT lack of religion, many of these people are our Christian brothers and sisters. Is it greed? Is it heartlessness? Is it the devil himself?

I came to African to for many reasons. One of the main ones was to find out if I would enjoy being an African missionary. But these problems are too big for me. How could a just and loving God allow us to treat each other like this? When we are given the capability for love, compassion, intellect, and wisdom why do we so often choose the opposite? Why don't we listen to the call of Jesus? Why don't we follow God's will? Why are we so damned selfish and evil?

Sorry if this seems like a beat up on Africa blog. America and many other countries commit many of the same acts. But its what I'm thinking about and its what I'm currently experiencing. Its easy to sit here and point fingers and feel sorry for myself and other people. Its much harder to muster up the courage to try and change the world. Please pray for me and everyone who needs the power to choose good over evil.

As always, my high and low:

High- Scott is back and rapidly returning to normal.

Low- Even though Africa is such a wonderful place, I don't think I have the personal stamina to be an African missionary, which is something I have dreamed about my entire life.

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This was written on Saturday, today is Monday. My mood has definitely improved, no need to worry :).
Yesterday, we went to a Maasai village in the midst of conflict. Now the Maasai are relatively well off (money wise) as compared to most other indigenous Tanzanian tribes, but this is only because of their cattle. Recently, the corrupt Tanzanian police force has been stealing cattle from the Maasai, confiscating it in the name of the government. There are multiple reasons for this. The low ranking police force then sell off the cattle and make quite a bit of money. The higherups then buy the land that Maasai can no longer afford because they have no income. This illegitimately bought land is kept by the rich or given to friends, or friends of friends.
One man's entire herd was stollen just a few days ago. So when we were there, most of the Maasai men were in the bush hidding their cattle incase the police came back. This conflict resulted in much distress in the village women further resulting in demonic posession. I have now seen my 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th posession. One of which happend right next to me. We were kneeling down for communion and the woman next to me started scratching my arm. When i looked over her eyes were rolled back, she was started to scream and hit the people around here. Some of the other women carried her outside and prayed over her. The other 4 women had similar experiences, one of which flopped on top of her baby, hurting its leg.
Today, Swahili lessons are going well and Scott is back in class. I also want to say a seperate thank you to everyone who has been sending me e-mail and reading this blog. Its nice to know that I have you guys backing me up!

Low: REALLY hot last night and I'm still scratching off my mosquito bites in my sleep.

High: Almost done with chapter 30 in my Swahili lessons. I don't think I'll finish all 60, but I'll be pretty close!